That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
