Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
