Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize