She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
