i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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