A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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