I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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