OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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