I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
