he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.