so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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