brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.