I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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