Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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