dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
