After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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