ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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