Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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