U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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