can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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