just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
