Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
