there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
