how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
my liver is dry heaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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