So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize