yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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