Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
