The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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