Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
