so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
