i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
