he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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