Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
