she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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