you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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