jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
