She's JV to your varsity
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
did i just pee glitter
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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