I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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