Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
