when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
