We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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