I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
