You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do vagina's smell?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
