i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
soo... how was my night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize