one might say we're banned from that church
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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