Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
