Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
