Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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