oh god the rape fog is back!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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