the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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