The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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