I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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