Yo dont text me then not text me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
