i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
