what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
