so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
