I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was confusing and full of hummus
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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