I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
