i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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