Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
