There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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