dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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