She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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