The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
