the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
